Hanzel und Gretyl
Interview mit Vas Kallas und Kaizer von Loopy

### ORIGINAL ENGLISH VERSION ###

Hello Vas, Hallo Herr Kaizer von Loopy! Wie geht’s? How are you?

VAS: Alles ist Super!

KAIZER VON LOOPY: JA! ALLES GUT!

Finally the new album is there – took a bit longer than we all expected, but that’s how it always goes, isn’t it? When did you concentrate full-time on finishing the album? Right after tour with Cradle Of Filth?

VAS: YES!! I would have to say the bulk of the CD was done after we returned from the UK. We had songs written a year before, but they somehow got transformed into something else while traveling through the HuG Wormhole. This CD was written in less than five months. ‚Übermensch Überfrau‘ was written in 2 hours the day before mastering. We are not your typical kind of band. We do not have producers and mixers, we do not sit in big fancy recording studios, we tend to break all the rules… and the music somehow always manifests!

KAIZER VON LOOPY: This is true! Hanzel und Gretyl CD’s are pretty much made with frog semen and twigs!! …and a handful of very tasteless ideas!

By the way – how was it touring with the British Black Metal icons? Did you have a good time during your first ever European tour? Any fun facts to release?

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Cradle of Filth in England! What better way to start our European onslaught!! I can’t say enough cool things about Cradle! We met them backstage at Ozzfest in ’03 and gave Dave and Paul our „Uber Alles“ CD. We didn’t really think it would amount to much but they apparently played it on their bus throughout the tour. We met up with them and Dani when they hit NYC for drinks. Another night we invaded Paul Booth’s Tattoo shop where Dani was getting a chest piece to water the seeds we planted earlier that year! We basically wouldn’t leave them alone until they took us to Europe!
The tour was top notch!! The busses were amazing, the catering and hospitality and plumbing all across the UK was fukken awesome and the Cradle crew was unparallelled!! There are too many stories to list but the last night in Portsmouth was crazy!! After an entire tour of being repremanded for over drinking, Cradle’s tour manager, Steve, brought me out a beer and had one with me on stage! I smashed a brand new Gibson Flying V into bits and tossed it into the crowd and the COF crew tied my lederhosen to a giant beer keg, wrapped me up in duct tape and dragged me off the stage by my feet!!
A fitting end to an amazing experience with some genuinely great people !!

VAS: Exactly true! Our first tour in the UK could not have been any better! Not only were we touring with one of the koolest bands in Europe, but the tour buses were awesome, the krew, the fans… everyone was just great! There was a lot of mutual hand salutes during the days and nights. Days off were the most fun, like in Manchester where we spent the full day drinking and ended up in the mid-afternoon at a death metal pub…!!! something that does not exist in new york city! …and the day off in Oxford where the bus parked about 10 feet away from a pub for 2 days… in the middle of the forest…oh my god.
Good shows and good chaos.

What I noticed from various live videos, is that you toured as a threesome – or did I miss something? It was Vas, Loopy, Jon, but not Anna K?

VAS: We love Anna and wish that things could be different but we live 3,000 miles apart from each other, so it’s difficult to maintain. We continued on as a 3 piece to make things easier for us and it seems to work. The power of the pyramid! It doesn’t mean that in the future things could change.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: I have a simple philosophy concerning that… when a 6 foot tall Swedish bombshell leaves your band, you do not even bother trying to replace her!

Can you imagine adding another guitar player or is the current constellation working good enough? Another guitar would maybe blast even more power into the audience, especially when it comes to your stomping industrial riffs.

VAS: That might be a good idea one day. I’m always up for having more characters on stage… make the chemistry more exciting… if that’s possible. Especially now that Loopy has formed this new love of crowd surfing and is mostly found in the audience on top of people’s heads instead of playing his guitar riffs… it’s turning into a real nutty death party for sure! Eine töten fest oder was!!!? …and …Charles from Cradle offered to play guitar for us if we ever needed one. That would be kool!

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Indeed!! Charles also has a new band called IMPERIAL VENGEANCE that ist SEHR DOPPELUBER!!! In the States, scores of people rush the stage to perform our last song, FUKKEN UBER DEATH PARTY. They pretty much expect it now!! We might need an entire second band on stage just to make it through that song if it can get any worse!!!

Besides touring and promoting your 2004 effort „Scheissmessiah“ what else did you do in the last three years? Have you had any encounters of the third kind?

VAS: Hmmm… let’s see… After detoxing from the 3 month long Ministry tour, we finally got our brains and blood cells together to headline Gothicfest in Chicago and then in 2006 toured the US after putting out the EP Oktotenfest 2006. As far as any encounter… well… we were broken down in the Nevada desert for about 2 days on the 2006 tour… I’m sure the aliens were watching us… we were as sure as hell watching them… or at least I was. It was beautiful out there.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: If only one of those fukken aliens had a wrench we wouldn’t have missed 4 shows!!

„Über Alles“ was your glorious return, „Scheissmessiah“ the personated evil about to come down on earth – and now we have „2012: Zwanzig Zwölf“. Is it destination Eschaton? The 2012-doomsday-theme is getting more popular by the day, at least that’s my impression. Do you believe in such theories like Planet-X or is it more a fascination for the Maya culture and their incredible knowledge about space and time?

VAS: I’ve been into astrology, metaphysics and all things psychic, spiritual and cosmic ever since my childhood. I even remember being in my crib as a baby thinking about how I wanted to go back to the stars and how mundane and pathetic that it was to be stuck in my crib. So, of course I’m going to follow a life that deals with these subjects. It’s natural to me and expected. The ideas of 2012 and the earth changes were not so seriously delved into on this CD, as much as I would have liked personally. It would be too much for most people to understand. So we took a more light-hearted path and turned it into a deathmetal drinking celebration of the end and of new beginnings.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: This CD is certainly a concept CD but it is also based on something that a large number of lunatics… uh I mean people, really believe is going to happen. If or when it does happen, I simply would prefer this interstellar disaster to be punctuated by a huge Oktoberfest-style party of our own creation! Oktotenfest 2012, to be specific! Mayan ruins, pyramid shaped space vessels, deathmetal and plattler dancing!! 20 litre beer steins and 6 foot high pretzels!!
JAAAAA BABY!!!!!!!

Hearing „2012: Zwanzig Zwölf“ for the first time was quite a surprise. The two songs of the „Oktötenfest“-teaser CD were still in the tradition of this evil disco feeling of „Über Alles“ and „Scheissmessiah“ – but the other songs, wow! „Loud Und Proud“, „Kaizerreich“ or „Hail To The Darkside“ – just to name a few – are in a way much different. Harder, faster, and even more Industrial Metal than before. To me it seems you have reduced the instrumentation a bit to gain this brutal sound – less effects, more metal! What was your approach on „2012“?

VAS: „2012“ is a brutal end to our trilogy. And yes we meant to do this! We always strive to unleash the metal. This is one thing that most people don’t know about us, but even though we love all kinds of music and are labeled as „industrial“ we are metal heads at heart. There is nothing more satisfying than playing aggro music on stage in front of a frenzied blut thirsty audience! This is a chaotic party – not an organized note perfect show of musicianship… That may perhaps come at another time, for another reason, in another dimension.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: We were mostly concerned with aggression over diversity. I think it reflects the times right now. There’s just no place for subtlety in my head these days. Here’s your riff, here’s your 300 bpm double kick pattern, here’s your chorus to yell!! Now go, scare the neighbor’s cat!! Luv it or fukk off!!!

In my ears „2012“ combines both elements of the modern Industrial era (like today’s KMFDM or MINISTRY) but also stays true to the spirit of the late 80ies / early 90ies. What would you say.. which music, which events have influenced you to develop the very sound you have right now?

VAS: Hmm… late 80’s and early 90’s… That’s when I first saw Ministry live for the first time and it literally blew me away and changed my whole musical perspective. That was also the time of Metallica and Slayer and the hordes of millions of metal bands. And bands like Einsturzende Neubauten and KMFDM also fell into the mix. But Hanzel und Gretyl is the way it is by default. The machines we had acquired created the sound that created our style. Perhaps now we are fighting with the machines that will lead to something else.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Certainly! Specifically bands like Slayer, Bad Brains, Prong, etc… but because we are still quite mechanized, there are the similarities with bands that mix guitar driven riffs with technology like KMFDM and Ministry. I love Guenter Schulz’s riffs on the early KMFDM stuff!! He should get WAY more credit for shaping the sound of modern metal. He wrote some amazing stuff, he’s a virtuoso but plays metal riffs and solos like some kind of piece of plug in software that won’t be invented for another 10 or 20 years!! His precision is not human!! It’s unatural. German engineering at it’s finest!! En Esch is also an amazing guitar soloist more in the vein of the 70’s I would say! If KMFDM’s gunna do it again, they gotta bring back Guenter and En Esch!!

The programmed drums on the album sound a bit more artificial this time – was that part of the plan? (They sounded more ‚industrial‘ than ‚metal‘.. if that makes any sense 😉 Have you thought about including Jon on drums in the studio sessions (not only samples of him blasting live), or is he exclusively playing live for you?

VAS: Yeah the drums are like machine guns and definitely delivers the manic devastation that we love! All the drums are programmed by Loopy in the studio. Jon is not involved with the music writing or recording, he solely remains as our drummer for live shows.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Recording live drums is a very timely and costly thing to do effectively. We might do it one day but we still like the idea that we are a facsimile of a metal band. I am still very intrigued by the idea that with a little technology, a little talent, and a shitty attitude you can sound as brutal as any over budgeted, over produced deathmetal band!! …even more brutal in fact because your shit will have digital distortion and no faggy tube warmth so there!!

I guess the duo infernale of you two has proved to be the best solution for your music – or are there any circumstances or conditions which would make you increase the band or least use sessions musicians in the studio?

VAS: Doubtful. If we added any other creative musicians into the mix it would cease being Hanzel und Gretyl. We are sort of purists to our own creations. We struggle with each other as is to get our ideas across! You know what they say, too many chefs in the kitchen ruins the schnitzel! I would be open to working with a great producer if the opportunity came to us.! And I would not be opposed to having more musicians on the road with us on stage if it was possible.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: I wouldn’t mind finally making a CD where I didn’t have to worry about tracking or mixing. I don’t really fuss over those things anyway. I stick a mic on a cabinet. If my cat hits it and changes the angle… fukken fine! It’s karma… or catma!! Maybe he knows something. I really like Jacob Hellner and Stefan Glaumann as producers!

„Number 1 in Deutschland“ – do you think you can make it? The band whose way you paved in the USA – RAMMSTEIN – seems to occupy this place. Kick them off the throne! 😉

VAS: Yeah! Rammstein is now writing their new hit song called „Number 2 in Deutschland“

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Hahaha!! I think Rammstein’s place in history is safe! Anyway, I thought David Hasselhoff is number 1 in Deutschland!! I wanted to write a song that reflected my deep frustration of not yet being able to play Germany! The only words in the song are „and I aint gunna stop til i’m Number 1 in Deutschland!“ and „Der Kaizer Ist Number 1 in Deutschland!“ It’s quite obnoxious but I am dead serious mein mensch! Get me over there schnell!! It’s been over 100 years! Time for a new Kaizer!! One that speaks really bad German!!!

But seriously: „Ausgeflippt“ and also „Transmissions From Uranus“ had license releases over here, and after some time also your Metropolis Records releases became available. Can you tell which effect the distribution had to your worldwide fanbase? I’m sure it has increased a lot since you are signed to Metropolis.

VAS: Right now it looks like we have more European interest than ever! Thanks to the internet, better distribution, or some sort of alien intervention! Anyone can buy our CD from anywhere! We dont have to be chosen by ultra conservative buyers to be in a CD store. We are in the store of the universe. This is really kool and positive for us and bands similar to us! We get emails from German fans everyday! Now all we have to do is find a way to tour Europe and get this schnitzel party started!

KAIZER VON LOOPY: It’s true! We are getting a huge response on the release of „2012: ZWANZIG ZWOLF“ from Germany!! That is exciting because we want to play Germany so goddamn bad!! It’s challenging for us because we have so many songs in German and we know it’s often grammatically wrong! In the States and other countries it works because speaking German over heavy metal just sounds awesome even if you are reciting the table of contents from a TV repair manual!! In Germany, everyone is going to know we aren’t German in 3 seconds! Maybe 2!

How good are the chances for another trip to Europe? (of course, money is the main issue…)

VAS: YES!!!! You called it. Money is the ONLY reason why we haven’t been to Europe. Thank you so much for bringing that up and finally realizing why it has been a bit difficult. Most fans have no idea how much it costs. It’s like putting a down payment on a 4 bedroom house or buying 2 new mercedes. Since we do not get any tour support which is common for most bands these days, it’s hard to break into the Euro market unless another bigger band takes us on the road and gives us a big break. Which is something Cradle of Filth did and we are grateful for and hope to get back to the UK because of it.
Plus the fact that our american dollar is complete scheisse right now… the cost for us would be even double! Ach!

KAIZER VON LOOPY: I think we might just move to Europe!! Perhaps Dusseldorf!! We’ll move into Kling Klang studios… if we can find it!!!

Now a stupid question: When will you release the next album? 🙂 But have you already ideas and plans for the next album, or are you busy these days, preparing the next tour?

VAS: The last thing on my mind is new music. The only thing on my mind is touring!

KAIZER VON LOOPY: I’m not sure when but I would like to record the next album in Germany!! Like Bowie, Eno and Iggy Pop did in the ’70’s. They went to Berlin for a reason! To make their darkest and most abstract work!!

Ok, now some short flashback-2007 questions for relaxation:

– best album of the year 2007?

VAS: Nothing.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: HAHAHAHA!! I can’t top that!!

– best live gig you have played 2007?

VAS: All the shows in the UK. But if I had to pick one it might have to be Cambridge at the Corning Exchange, because we all went out wearing those silly english bobby hats… all of us and even the crew!!! Hahahah!!! And I actually did a whole set with that plastic hat on my head sweating blood dye all over my face… kinda fun. The crowds were insane and nearly got myself sucked into the audeince vortex! Holy scheisse! They totally got Loopy’s helmet and goggles… it was out of control!! And I loved every second of it.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Anywhere in the UK!! Cambridge was sick!! The Corn Exchange is a magnificant structure!

– best live gig of a band you’ve seen?

VAS: That would have to be SLAYER in 1992 at the Paramount in New York City, when the crowd started tearing the cushions out of the seats and throwing them all around the venue in a blizzard of sublime puffy seat chaos! Tom Arraya had to stop the show 4 times to tell the fans that the venue will shut down if they continued to destroy the seats! And then there was silence… and then a cushion came flying straight to my head… it was awesome.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Everytime I’ve seen Kraftwerk. I get goose bumps when the curtain goes down! And they have the best smelling audience I have ever smelt!! Same goes for Slayer but completely different smell!!

– the most annoying thing you were confronted with in 2007?

VAS: Our graphic artist who did not respect our deadlines and held our art hostage. He no longer works for us. And when Loopy explodes over to my side of the stage uses my mic and destroys everything.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: The tedium associated with getting rid of baggage! …and any bus bunk activity that causes your foot to cramp real bad!!

– most stupid quote you heard in 2007?

VAS: „My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions.“ –George W. Bush

KAIZER VON LOOPY: „My fellow Americans, the state of the union is strong!“

– the dumbest interview question you’ve been asked (except this one ;)?

VAS: „How do you write music?“

KAIZER VON LOOPY: „Does your music reflect any political ideology?“

Well, my fellow Lieblings-Amerikaners, that’s nearly all. There are still more than 4 years till the end of times. What do you want to accomplish above any other things until then (except finding a booking agency for Chichen Itza)?

VAS: Peace of mind and worldwide touring.

KAIZER VON LOOPY: Hahahaha!! A Mayan tour manager would definately be at the top of the list!

Thanks to you!! If you have anything left to say – fire away!

VAS: Looking forward to the day we share Big German Beers together after a HuG show in Germany! PROST!

KAIZER VON LOOPY: ICH BIN EIN BERLINER!!… for you southern folk, that means „I AM A DONUT Y’ALL!!“!